Change can be scary, but it can also be exciting. It can be unpredictable and quick or it can move as slow as a river of molasses. It can shift, it can explode, it can sneak into your life when you least expect it. No matter how change presents itself, it comes with new opportunities, wanted or not.

A few years ago, I decided to enroll in a coaching certification program that specialized in the recovery of narcissistic abuse. I had first hand experience with narcissistic abuse but the last thing I expected was that it could benefit me in some way. I knew I wanted to help people, I knew I was a good listener, and I knew that I was empathetic and kind. I also knew that I was good with words, so maybe coaching others through it was what I needed to do. But there are a lot of “coaches” out there. Would having that certification mean anything?

The program was way more intense than I expected and it took me more than double the time I estimated to complete it. There was so much to learn, it was overwhelming—the autonomic nervous system, the internal family system, positive psychology, the polyvagal theory…things I’d never heard of before. We had access to a business library that was bursting at the seams, endless Q&A sessions, and master classes with industry experts. So much information. But with each module I completed and each session I finished, I felt more and more inspired, more confident and more healed. The course was as therapeutic as it was instructional.

Self-doubt made sure to show up, though, nipping at me and making me wonder if I was doing the right thing, but then I’d get a sign from the universe—like I did on April 19, 2023—and my confidence would be restored and I’d push on.

April 19, 2023

In March of this year, I submitted my cases studies and in May, I received my certification from the School of Trauma Informed Positive Psychology (UK). I am now both a Narcissist Abuse Specialist and a Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach—certified by the ICF (International Coaching Federation) and accredited by CPD (Continuing Professional Development).

I’ll still be writing about food and travel until I transition full-time to this new career. While coaching sessions can be done over platforms like Zoom, not every client has the privacy to make that happen. I’m looking to secure dedicated office space so that I can do in-person sessions, but until then, I will share my knowledge by writing on Substack (please subscribe!),  through speaking engagements, and maybe (hopefully) a podcast.

Find me at https://substack.com/@twylacampbell

The most enlightening aspect of this education has been the “trauma informed” part. Narcissistic abuse is highly traumatic and people who’ve experienced will quite likely suffer not only PTSD but C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) which occurs when trauma happens over an extended period of time. Being trauma-informed prepares you with a unique skill set to make the victim feel seen and heard. There is a transference of safety that occurs, and for anyone who’s been victimized, feeling safe is everything. Being trauma-informed also helps to understand why the abusers do what they do, because all abuse is rooted in trauma.

The most difficult part of this journey for anyone is trying to heal from trauma while still being traumatized. How do you escape the bullcrap while you’re covered in it? It’s not easy. You learn to cope. You rely on support systems, you put into action what you’ve learned, you meditate, you practice gratitude, you accept praise, encouragement and compliments, and you learn to become emotionally flexible. You take those devastating moments and you say, “I see you. I know you, and you don’t get to take up space.” And every time you hold that pain and acknowledge it, you force the door open so a little bit more light gets in. Those times of pain become bricks in the foundation of resiliency and you get to take one step ahead until it gets easier and easier to let that light in. This is what I aim to do for people: rebuild that foundation of a healthy self.

I am proud to offer my services to people who are going through what I’ve been through. Having someone who can relate is not only valuable, it’s absolutely necessary. Narcissistic abuse is a unique and brutal psychological torture, and according to the World Health Organization, falls under the umbrella of Intimate Partner Violence. If you’ve been there, you know how it feels. If you’ve been there, I’m sorry, but as my instructor always reminded us, “It happened to you, not because of you.” Remember that.

Please reach out to me with an email, if you need to, at twylacampbell@gmail.com